The Marriage Zone

Summary of the Marriage Zone on the Hot Crazy Matrix

Marriage Zone Summary

Originally termed the "Wife Zone" by the early researchers in this field, the Marriage Zone represents a magnificent slice of the human population, both men and women. While Unicorns are still the most sought after, inhabitants of the Marriage Zone are a close second in their physical (Hot) and mental (Crazy) beauty. In fact, close examination of the matrix reveals that it is possible to have Marriage Zoners who are actually Hotter than Unicorns (though they will always be slightly Crazier, by definition).

Marriage Zone Facts:

Crazy Rating:

< 7

Hot Rating:

> 8

Not Common Enough

Data suggests that there are far fewer people who reside in the Marriage Zone than do (or will) actually be married. While more than 1/2 of the U.S. population gets married eventually, it's estimated that only about 15% of people truly reside in the Marriage zone.

More Information about the Marriage Zone

Key Traits

  • Socially intelligent; generally reasonable
  • Attractive; good looking
  • Independent and self-directed; responsible

Known Marriage Zone Inhabitants

Mila Kunis

Mila is astoundingly attractive, highly successful, and, by all accounts, incredibly down to earth. Anyone who's seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall is certainly fallen for her. She's quite a catch, and is considered by many to be a full-fledged Unicorn.

Denzel Washington

If you haven't heard the phrase "Mmmmmm Denzel," you haven't seen a movie by the Academy Award winning actor with a woman present before. Attractive, well spoken, and widely known as kind hearted, he's what most women mean when they say "marriage material."

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Do all married people reside in the marriage zone?

A: Absolutely not! As stated above, only 15% of people are believed to be true Marriage Zoners on the Universal Hot Crazy Matrix, but statistics show that >50% of all people get married at some point. It's no wonder the divorce rate is so high! But even the divorce rate doesn't account for the high % of married people.

The reason there is such a high number of "successful" marriages, is that people from outside of the Marriage Zone also frequently marry people in other, often similar, zones (the Dangerous marry the Dangerous, the No Go's marry other No Go's, and so on). Even though not every one is universal marriage material, they can still forge stable relationships with others.

Q: I think I'm dating someone who's real marriage material, but I don't think I'm ready. What should I do?

A: Odds are, you are an average male, in which case, the answer is, "GROW UP!"

Humorous as that advice may seem, it is legitimate. Just because someone is marriage material doesn't mean you need to marry them immediately. Honestly, if you are not ready, you are likely not (yet) marriage material, and it's unlikely the marriage would work even if he/she did say "yes." It may take time, but it's important to grow up mentally before taking a leap into marriage.

If you need to be single to work the stupid out of yourself before marriage, do it. But if you can hold onto the relationship faithfully, take your time before popping the question. Open communication with your significant other about your feelings/concerns in this area can help you keep your relationship in tact and practice for future marriage while you grow up.